umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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