This girl is more easily done than said...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
