So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
