Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want her autograph on my taint
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Randomize
