i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize