I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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