why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
