Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
