You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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