Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
