Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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