Dual....:-)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
