singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
