Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
