I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
