i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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