please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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