Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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