I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
