Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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