Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
