so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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