So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
