I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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