I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
now i know why i became what i already was.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
