i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
