People in love make me want to vomit
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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