He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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