Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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