Im at strip club and am horny
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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