there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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