im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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