john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
