I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
