I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
