he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
