my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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