I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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