i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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