So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
