My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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