Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Holy shit dude........stairs
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
