I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
