The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
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How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
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