just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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