You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
