matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
