would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
