Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i've created a new STD.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
