her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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