I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize