Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
