I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
