I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize