it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
