So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
