After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
