in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
