matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
