when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
