I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
