We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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