im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize