i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
